update

so long time never update my blog

because I was so lazy to describe all the things happened

but I was regretted I had no record down the memory in my life

so now

let's try record something happens recently

18th birthday

just a normal celebration

and I love my caring friends and beloved bf

then I faced some stress on my studies

I failed all the subjects except for pengajian am

I was so upset by these

never think that I would get fail

and shouldn't blame anyone but myself

because I was so so so not concentrate in all the classes include tuition classes

all I think was about WORK ,to get more $$ to satisfy my demand,my material comforts

then I decide to quit tuition classes

due to work I lost my concentration on studies and I was getting tired/headache to go classes

to me now

$$ is important than anything

I cant live without $$

and I would like to earn myself instead of asking from my dad

*and yet I know he was facing finance problem

facing the burden of our banglo and my 2 little brothers living expenses

and his wife and more and more

I don't wish to add his burden up T.T

2/9/2010

daddy's wife and the family went to their hometown

daddy drove my car sent them to the airport early in the morning

the banglo house was left only me and my dad

no maid because step-mother was bringing her together

I feel so alone so quite in house because my dad was outing

until late night

he still haven't get back

I stared to phone him but to no avail

I started to feel strange

finally I get knew that

he was accident

a car and a bus accident

I waited him t come back for a night

finally he was back

he seems nothing serious injured at physical

I hope he will get recover soon

and now

I'm the maid in my banglo house

I hate housework

and yet my house is so big to me doing all these fucking housework

I have a new wish now

hope that my maid can come back asap

but the step-mother and the family disappear in my life

** I know that I am rude,but I hate them

I never feel as warm as a family

I never feel my house is like my house

after appearance of them

and now I got the feel back

没有他们的存在

我的家才是家

I feel the warmness there had gone for a long time

the warmness had gone after they occupied in my house

but what can I do

that's already a fact and fate in my life T.T